This article talks about why watching the Royal Wedding can bring down your self-esteem. It seems a bit ridiculous but I will admit that it is a bit true. When I was watching some of the wedding, I was wondering why some people are born into luxurious lives while others are born into poverty. What do you think? Do you think that watching a "Royal Wedding" will bring down your self esteem because it's not "fair" that people are born into royalty or luck brought someone together with a royal? I thought that Kate looked gorgeous, but does that make people jealous and envious? Does that bring down someone's self-esteem?
And also, does Kate and William really have a "better life" than you? They just have more money, but does that mean that they are happier and are living a better life? (For example: Princess Diana, she had a luxurious life, but she was not truly happy. And we have a normal life and we are so very happy.)
Hooray for relative deprivation! We live for comparing ourselves to those who we feel are ‘better’ or ‘more superior.’ However, I don’t really think that watching one wedding on television is going to hurt our self-esteem and makes us feel worthless. Personally, I did not watch the royal wedding, nor did I even have a clue what it was until Saturday night, but I don’t feel that one extreme instance would make anyone feel deprived. People in general are smart enough to realize that a majority of the population is in the same boat: we simply can’t all have a royal wedding. Maybe our dreams of marrying the Prince of England and becoming royalty might be crushed; however, I don’t think that the damaging effects of watching the royal wedding would extend much further than that.
ReplyDeleteI really liked the author’s statement that ‘it isn’t healthy to idealize anyone or to put others on a pedestal.’ We do this far too often, and it only brings us more stress and frustration. Especially in high school, how many times have we asked others what they got on the test? How many times have we compared our cars to the brand new one sitting in the parking lot? Comparisons can be beneficial, as they give us a baseline for what is considered ‘normal’ by society’s standards; however, they can also be harmful if we dedicate our whole selves solely to becoming better than our neighbors. Finally, as for the money buys happiness issue, we’ve learned that people living comfortable lifestyles are generally happier than those living in poverty, but a common middle class lifestyle does not produce any more or less happiness than a life as a billionaire. Honestly, I think I’d rather live comfortably than have cameras surrounding me everywhere I go. The constant following is not only stressful and annoying, but it also means that you have to look beautiful, watch what you say, and act properly at every moment.
I am not one to follow the media and celebrities, so I had no idea that there was a royal wedding taking place until I saw everyone's Facebook statuses and tweets about it. So, if you hadn't guessed, I was not one of those people who woke up at 4 in the morning over break to watch the wedding. I think that it is normal for people to want to watch the wedding, but when people start putting William and Kate on a pedestal, it becomes unhealthy.
ReplyDeleteI think that the "Royal Wedding" gives hope that we all are going to meet our "prince charming" (at least I hope I will)! He may not be as wealthy and famous as prince William, but he will be a prince in our eyes and that's all that matters to us. Our weddings might not be broadcasted on worldwide television, there may not be crowds of thousands, and there may not be infinite security, but we still will be happy! I think it is important that people recognize this idea. While watching the "Royal Wedding" may bring down a person's self esteem, it will only do so if a person feels compares their lives to the lives of William and Kate and begins to feel sorry for themselves. It isn't about fairness, it is about fate- fate is what lead these people into royalty. I think many women are probably jealous of how beautiful Kate looked on her wedding day and their self-esteem may be brought down, but this is envy is only temporary. Once their husband or boyfriend calls them beautiful again, they will most likely forget how gorgeous Kate looked the other day.
I personally believe that William and Kate probably have a good life, but not as good as each and every one of our lives. My sister came home from the store with a magazine the other day about Kate. The magazine criticized Kate for being seen wearing the same heels and jacket four times. Do you know how many times I wear the same jacket? Having cameras on them constantly causes people to be more critical of the lives lead by Kate and William. Also, money doesn't buy happiness so even though they are very wealthy, this doesn't automatically cause them to be happy. So my advice to everyone is to not marry for money, marry for love- we'll all find our prince charming someday!
Well let’s just say, I thought Kate looked gorgeous! But any who, I don’t think that watching the royal wedding we are in any way “putting others on a pedestal and idealizing them”. I think we are just so curious as to what goes on in the world. I don’t necessary think every person watching is trying to be the royal family. We are all just very curious and also if everyone is getting up at 4 A.M. in the morning, most people feel the need to fit in and say “I woke up at 4 A.M.” I think part of all of us wishes they were as well as weren’t born into royalty.
ReplyDeleteI do not think watching one wedding will bring down our own self esteem. We can all dream a little and imagine ourselves getting married to a prince. I don’t think our opinion of Kate looking gorgeous will make people jealous. I think we all compare ourselves to these celebrity figures, but it’s all part of human nature. We know we will and can never be another human so we need to find the good in us. I don’t necessarily think that Kate and William have a better life than me. I think it all depends on our own definition of “happy”. I don’t think money buys happiness, but it can all depend on the person. We need to judge ourselves and be able to realize when we are no longer happy or when we try to buy too much happiness.
I am obsessed with Will and Kate! I loved watching all the tv specials leading up to their big day! However, I do not think watching the specials and the actual wedding hurt my self-esteem. Obviously I know that I am not going to marry a gorgeous prince and then become a princess and live happily ever after with him. But, we can dream right? I watched the wedding because I wanted to know all the gossip that went on. I wasn’t putting Will and Kate on a pedestal and then comparing myself to them.
ReplyDeleteLike the article said Will and Kate were born into royalty. They did not work to get that position. I like many other people understand that, so I was not even thinking of comparing myself to them when I was learning about all their mansions and jewels on the tv specials. Because I knew they were born into having all of it. I do not think watching the wedding hurt my self-esteem. It is part of our nature to want to know the gossip and what all the famous people are doing; and to dream about marrying a prince. I am not jealous of them and all that they have because I am happy with my life .
Interesting choice Sami! Kell, I completely agree with you. And Jenn...good call with the relative deprivation! And Mariel is right, our comparison is normal....it's how we gauge our own success. Imagine being someone planning a wedding while watching this extravaganza! Oh wait...
ReplyDeleteI have to say that I really don’t think that they Royal Wedding brought me down or made me feel bad about myself in any way. That may be due to the fact that I wasn’t as excited for it as everyone else seemed to be… And by that I mean that whenever people started talking about it I was never one to get too involved with the conversation. In fact, when I was at physical therapy the day before the wedding took place, the lady who was next to me while I was biking kept talking about it and asking me questions. I felt like an idiot not being able to have an educated conversation with her, but when I was thinking about it after we spoke, I realized that she was probably one of those people waking up at 5 AM to watch the wedding… I personally think it is absurd for someone to wake up that early just to watch someone’s wedding(you don’t even know the person!) One reason I think so many people woke up for it was since some people were doing it, they felt that they also needed to—just to fit in. Conformity!! But anyway I think that people who have an interest in the wedding are in the best shape because they care enough but not too much (if that even makes sense…) If this wedding brings down your self esteem then don’t watch it! Is watching the wedding really worth you feeling bad about yourself?
ReplyDeleteIn response to Sami’s last question about Kate and William having a better life than any of us, I have to say that I think that the grass is always greener on the other side. Not only does this statement pertain to this case, but none of us know what goes on inside the walls of their home. The media over there does not publicize anything bad about these people… I mean how could they?.. Kate and William are royalty! I also think that there needs to be an operational definition for “happy.” I think I lead a happy and fulfilling life, but there may be other onlookers who think my life is miserable and that their life is perfect. All of us have different opinions on life and what/who makes us happy.
To sum up my opinion on this article, I think that if the Royal Wedding is going to make you feel bad about yourself then don’t watch it and forget it is even happening. But for those who find excitement/enjoyment in looking at Kate’s dress and seeing all the traditions come to life then watch and enjoy it. Don’t let someone else’s extravagant wedding make your self esteem go down! It’s just not worth it…
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ReplyDeleteWatching the Royal Wedding could only bring down your self-esteem if you are extremely unhappy with your life, or are simply insecure. For most normal, confident, and stable people, the wedding does not bring down their self-esteem. Watching the wedding was a happy moment for me, and I was happy for the couple, especially for Kate Middleton. (Not going to lie I teared up a little bit) What girl doesn’t dream of becoming a princess? However, realistically we know that the chances are EXTREMELY slim of this ever happening, so we do not get our hopes up. Unfortunately we know that chances are we will never be a princess, and we will never live in a castle. However, this does not mean that we will never be happy, and this does not mean that we won’t ever find our own ‘prince’. I do think it is interesting, the way life plays out. Some people are starving on the streets while others, such as Kate, are living the life of royalty, literally. I think it’s just the way life works, but I also think that everyone has the potential to be happy. I don’t necessarily think that money buys happiness, however I do think that it definitely helps to make a comfortable living.
ReplyDeleteI was so into this Royal Wedding!!! I DVR-ed it the night before and watched it the next morning (but only the big parts, I don't know how people watch six hours of that.) I thought Kate looked amazing and you could tell that they were really in love, much more than Diana & Prince Charles were. However, I did not feel particularly envious about this wedding. If I was getting married, I would not want the world to be watching me and my every move. I wouldn't want strangers gossiping about my relationship. And I wouldn't want 2 billion people watching me get married! I feel like my ideal wedding would be much more private and intimate. So, I really wasn't jealous. (Though I may be jealous of Kate's hair, because it looked perfect.) However, if I was one of the people who wanted a huge wedding, maybe I would be more jealous of this wedding. Also, this wedding is more than just an opportunity to gossip about two beautiful people. It is history in the making! Whether or not you are jealous of the wedding, I feel like everyone could have at least watched a few minutes of it. Their wedding will forever be in history, and we are given the opportunity to watch it happen. To not seize that opportunity seems a little crazy to me!
ReplyDeleteI have to agree with the majority of the author's points in this article. For one, the only thought I gave to the royal wedding was how much of a tax burden the aristocracy must be on the people of Great Britain! Like Jenn, my immediate first thought when opening this article was about how well it exemplifies relative deprivation. The ceremony of marriage is a common experience; most people will either have a wedding or attend one in their lives. But nobody, virtually nobody will ever be able to have a ceremony that echoes this -- global buzz for months, worldwide television coverage, bursting with countless courtesies/traditions and innumerable sums of money. It's impossible not to feel slightly jealous, just slightly, when looking at how the people at the center of this marriage received simply everything they could want and more for the ceremony. In "Princess Catherine's" case, the day marked that from hence forward she will be able to receive anything she could possibly want for doing nothing but attaining a title. While getting married should be one of the most special days in a person's life, the comparison of a wedding to THE wedding, this wedding, has the capability to make the occasion seem lackluster. It's an impossible standard, just are the images we dream up about the perfection of royal life by exalting it. Sure, the royal wedding might be interesting, but I would suggest that people not get too emotionally involved...remember, they're just people and it's a wedding day just as special as any other.
ReplyDeleteI think this guy is being a little too pessimistic and overdramatic. I'm obsessed with English culture and English accents, so of course I was a huge fan of the royal wedding. But I can honestly say that not once did I impose my own self into their "modern fairy tale" wedding. I watched the highlights of the wedding as a complete outsider, an observer of history being made. I was in awe of how pretty Kate looked and how regal the whole ceremony and ordeal was...but I don't think that being in awe of something necessarily equates with "idealizing" the royal couple like the author makes it out to be. You'd have to be completely crazy to look at Will and Kate and say "They're perfect. I want my life to be exactly like that. My life sucks because I don't have that." Other people brought up Princess Diana--isn't she the prime example of the imperfections of what this author thinks we assume to be the perfect life?
ReplyDeleteI personally see nothing wrong with being excited about the royal wedding. The royal family members are all public figures--politically they're obviously prominent and they're cultural symbols as well. I don't envy the lack of privacy they have to deal with, but this wedding was a public affair with huge cultural and social significance for people all over the world.
The author asked "How could watching this wedding, featuring people you've never met, make you feel good or better about your own life?" My answer is this: no one watched that wedding for an ego boost! People watched the wedding with the intention of being informed, being a part of history, and, above all else, being entertained!! If you call into question whether or not people should be interested in stories about people we don't know, you need to seriously re-evaluate every form of entertainment you participate in, because they all do the same thing. If watching the royal wedding is so bad for our self-esteem, then watching romantic comedies where the guy gets the girl and there's a happily ever after should be outlawed! And for the people (like my dad) who say they could care less: maybe your "unhealthy idealization" is of a sports figure! You may not know much about their private life (or maybe you do), but you probably know how much money they make per game, and you know what company is sponsoring them, and you know their stats and where they went to college. How is any of that any different? Humans are relational by nature, but I think that "relational" branches out to both people we actually have contact with and people we don't have contact with.
While I agree with the author's point about not idolizing the royals, I also have to say that I think his logic suffers from some oversimplifications. He definitely makes a good argument for the senselessness of idolizing people who were simply dropped into their upper-crust positions without any effort of their own. I also feel that while he does take the argument that watching the royal wedding will damage everyone's self-esteem to an extreme, there is definitely truth to that. Like some of you have said, we compare ourselves to others by nature. Though most of us know how silly it is to compare ourselves to people like those in the royal family -- simply because their circumstances are so wildly different from ours -- we may subconsciously do it anyway. As long as we do not become too caught up in it or actually start to think less of ourselves because of it, I don't find this comparison to be unhealthy. I do think, though, that the incessant media coverage the author mentions in his article almost forces some people to become too caught up in the whole affair. Personally, I don't wake up at 4am ever, so I wasn't about to start to do it for the wedding. But it was on TV later that day, so I turned it on and caught the highlights.
ReplyDeleteWhen I said before that I felt the author made some oversimplifications in his article, I meant that I think he missed some of the reasons people are interested in watching events like the royal wedding. It's not necessarily because we think they're perfect and want to be just like them. Personally, I've been intrigued from the beginning by the fact that Kate Middleton was a "commoner" (though I totally hate that word -- it makes me so glad we don't have a monarchy here) and wanted to see what the dynamic was like at the wedding. The British royal family often seems really stuffy and uptight, so I was interested to note if the tone of the wedding would signify some sort of evolution in that. This, I think, can be considered a relevant part of history (did we all not have to memorize the six wives of Henry VIII in West Civ?), even if you want to label it "pop culture history."
On a final note, if you want to think of the royal wedding as pure fluff, I still think it's important pure fluff for this reason: we are inundated every day in the news with doom and gloom, and while all of the catastrophes in the world should certainly be given due notice, I also think it's sometimes important for us to have a break, a nice bit of escapism.
The Royal Wedding was a huge phenomenon for a number of reasons. Not only does the US in particular have a natural affinity for England, but the fact that Kate, "a commoner," could become the next princess really connected with many viewers both at home and abroad. As many of the girls mentioned, relative deprivation has a huge role in watching any wedding, especially the royal wedding. Someone who has a relatively simple idea of what they want their wedding to be may be intimidated by this grandiose ceremony. In fact, it's possible that a bride could feel pressured to have a more elaborate wedding (obviously not on the scale of the royal wedding) by way of normative social influence. Conforming to society's ideal concept of a wedding reduces the risk of people talking negatively about their experience there. In terms of self-esteem and how it's effected by the royal wedding...I don't know that it is. I mean, there's always going to be comparison especially because it's the social nature of females to compare themselves to one another. I think that less than envy, women compare the individual differences of the wedding especially the dress. Low self-esteem may also be harmed by the image of Kate looking as beautiful as she did on her wedding day. However, I don't think that this effect is any more magnified than it is in magazines and other vanity-centered media. In terms of whether or not I think that Kate has a "better life" than I do...I don't really know. I admire her relationship with William because they really do look so incredibly in love. However, I would hate to be scrutinized under such a constant microscope that goes along with the title. There are up sides and down sides to any given person's life.
ReplyDeleteEven though I loved watching all of the coverage of the Royal Wedding, I do agree with the author when he says that watching it will lower your self-esteem, permanently or temporarily. I know personally, after watching all of the coverage I became almost obsessed with Kate Middleton. She is gorgeous yet so laid back and this was evident in the coverage of her wedding. I know many other people also became obsessed with her so this kind of idealizing can definitely lower a person’s self-esteem. However, I don’t think it should affect a person to the point where it stops them from watching it! Everyone is constantly putting people around them on a pedestal but it shouldn’t stop a person’s whole lifestyle. I think if we were living in an ideal world, no one would compare themselves to others but realistically we all constantly are, especially women.
ReplyDeleteTHIS WAS EXACTLY ME. I was watching clips of the wedding on TV the night after and by the end of it I had a new life goal to marry a prince. The first text I sent my friend was "where did she meet a prince and how can I?" I looked around at my house and my iPhone and my prom dress and everything felt so little now. In retrospect, I live in Bergen County, New Jersey. I go to a private high school and will be attending a private college... I'll be okay. But just to watch something so luxuriously made me feel like my life totally sucked. I kept watching the married couple's faces trying to find a hint of sadness especially when the two were driving down the road waving for what seemed like ever. We learned a real smile only lasts a couple seconds so I don't know maybe it wasn't as glorious as the media painted it.... but I still want to marry a prince.
ReplyDeleteOkay, so I'm going to be completely honest. I totally did the whole waking up at 4am to watch the royal wedding thing--and yes there were tiaras! It's fine, you can totally judge. I think every little girl dreams of becoming a princess, so this was kind of like a real life fairy tale; that is a lot of the reason I was so interested in it. I love watching wedding shows and stuff like that all the time (it's okay, judge again); I think it's because weddings traditionally symbolize a dream come true for the two people who are getting married.
ReplyDeleteThe thing with the royal wedding was that three generations or so were involved. My grandma, and other people in her generation, were older when Prince William's mother, Diana died; as was my mother's generation. We, however, have heard in the news all about the royal family and all of the scandals that go along with them.
I don't think people watched the wedding because they want to emulate the royals; I think it really just has something to do with a child hood dream. As I said before, so many girls dream of marrying their prince charming and living happily ever after--every Disney fairytale; I growing up to be Cinderella was a dream of mine when I was a little girl. Kate got that chance, and I think people were just so fascinated by the realness of this marriage. She was the "commoner" and he is the prince, it's the perfect Hollywood movie.
I think everyone who watched the royal wedding just wanted to see the fairy tale. It's the same reason people go to romantic movies where the girl always gets her prince and there's a happy ending. I think most people do not get low self esteem just from watching a movie with a perfect ending or the royal wedding. It's human nature to compare yourself to others, but I think you have to be really insecure to get permanent low self esteem from watching the royal wedding.
ReplyDeleteI think about this a lot. why are some people born with immense wealth and others without anything to eat? I try to justify with everyone has their own struggles and problems. But in the case of the royal wedding i think everyone just used this as an escape from their own lives. Its why we watch those princess movies and over dramaticized tv shows. We all want to believe in that fairy tale happy ending. And even though I think we all know their lives are probably far from perfect, its nice to look at the pretty couple with crowns on their heads from a far. We've watched Disney princess movies our whole lives. That suspension of disbelief comes crashing down as we get older and the magic disappears. So its nice to look at a royal couple and believe in that fairy tale ending just for a day. So i think this obsession with the royal wedding is harmless for most people.
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